It’s ok to not know…

Years ago, I was sitting in a work retreat while the head of the division was giving a presentation directed to the investment professionals of the group (which, for context, were almost exclusively men). He reassured them that it was OK to say “I don’t know” when asked a question.  Yes, an entire session on answering “I don’t know”, when you don’t know the answer to a question being asked. 

“Uhhh – yeah. Otherwise, you’d be making something up and lying!” I thought to myself.  It thoroughly confused me that people needed to be reminded (or even taught?) that it was ok to not know the answer.  Yes, judgment can get the best of me sometimes, and I was in my 20s at the time!

The participants in the room were afraid to admit they didn’t know, especially to a superior.  As I reflect on that session, the division head was really giving permission to not know the answer at that moment.  When one of those circumstances where an employee didn’t know the answer to his question, he was strongly suggesting that they quickly find out and report back as soon as possible, but that being honest and transparent in real time mattered more than looking smart or prepared (and being wrong).

The image issue of seeming smart and prepared runs rampant the higher one climbs the corporate ladder.  For many, success probably depended on having the correct answer at that moment.  But that’s not reality – that’s the corporate America grind and the facade that most ladder climbers learn to perfect because that image of perfection gets and keeps stakeholders’ attention.  Ultimately, it leads to more promotions, raises and power.  

Phew!

What if you had a space to sit in the “I don’t know” because you didn’t have to know – at least not yet.  The hamster wheel could slow down enough to begin to answer honestly and transparently.  That’s the power of working with a coach, on your side, in your corner at your speed.  You have the space, time and freedom (with no judgment, I promise!) to explore the options, create some new ones and make a plan.

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